When Happiness Fades: Is Divorce the Answer?
A biblical look at hope, hardship, and healing in marriage.
One of the most common questions we hear from struggling couples is this:
“God doesn’t want me to be unhappy. And I’m unhappy in my marriage… so is He okay with me getting a divorce?”
It’s a painful question—because behind it sits disappointment, exhaustion, unmet expectations, and a quiet ache for relief. No one wakes up hoping their marriage reaches this point. So we don’t respond with harshness or dismissal, but with tenderness and truth.
Because Scripture speaks to this directly.
What Does God Say About Divorce?
The Bible is not unclear.
In Malachi 2, God says He hates divorce. Not because He hates the people involved—but because He knows the breaking of covenant tears souls apart.
When questioned about divorce in Matthew 19, Jesus replied:
“From the beginning, the Creator made them male and female… the two shall become one flesh. What God has joined together, let no one separate.”
When the Pharisees asked why Moses permitted divorce, Jesus answered,
“Because of the hardness of your hearts… but it was not this way from the beginning.”
From the start, God designed marriage as echad—two becoming one.
Inseparable. Interwoven. Not disposable.
So the question isn’t simply “Does God want me happy?”
The deeper question is:
What do I do when happiness disappears?
If God Doesn’t Want Me Unhappy, But He Also Hates Divorce… Is There Another Way?
Yes.
Between misery and divorce lies a third path:
Healing.
God doesn’t want you unhappy—
but He also doesn’t want you to give up on something He created to endure.
Unhappiness is real. But it is often temporary, emotional, and solvable.
We don’t make life-defining decisions from fleeting feelings.
If we live led by emotion, we become—
as James describes—“blown and tossed by the wind.”
Happiness is not a stable compass.
Hopelessness Is the Real Enemy
Divorce is never just about unhappiness.
It's about losing hope that things can ever be different.
Francis Frangipane once said:
“Every area of your life that is not glistening with hope is a place where you’re believing a lie.”
Somewhere along the way, lies creep in:
• I’ll never change.
• They’ll never change.
• This is just how things are now.
• Divorce is the only way to feel joy again.
Lies drain hope.
Hope rebuilt can heal what feels broken beyond repair.
Where You Look Determines What You Feel
Many couples unknowingly place the weight of their happiness on their spouse.
But a spouse is not designed to carry that responsibility. Only God can.
If your happiness depends on another person, disappointment will always come.
But when your joy is rooted in the Father, everything shifts—including how you see your spouse.
Your spouse isn’t the source.
God is.
And when joy flows from Him first, love for your spouse grows instead of drains.
Healing Takes Partnership
We don’t ignore pain—we bring it to the One who restores.
Scripture calls us to rejoice always, pray continually, and give thanks in everything.
Not because life always feels good, but because rejoicing is warfare against hopelessness.
We have lived this.
We know what it is to choose joy when joy felt impossible.
Obedience sometimes comes before emotion—but fruit follows obedience.
So How Do We Counsel Couples Facing This Question?
We don’t say:
“Just stay miserable.”
We say:
Don’t lose hope.
Don’t walk away from healing God is willing to give.
Divorce is a decision born from hopelessness.
Hope is a decision fueled by God’s presence.
There is another way.
And it begins with turning your eyes—not to your spouse—but to the Father.
Because He is the source of joy, love, renewal, and restoration.
A Blessing for the Hurting Marriage
May your eyes lift off what’s broken and lock onto the Father.
May His love wash over your heart with fresh hope.
May places long numb with disappointment come alive again.
And may healing write a better story than despair ever could.
There is hope.
There is possibility.
There is another way forward.
Jesus is not only pro-marriage—He is the God who restores them.