Launching Kids Well

The “launching years” are exciting, fun, stretching, and yes—sometimes emotional. We’ve launched six of our eight children, and each time has brought its own mix of joy, challenge, and growth. But through it all, we’ve found rhythms and principles that help keep our family connected while still empowering our kids to step confidently into the next thing.

Let’s break it down.

1. Stay Interested in What Interests Them

One of the most intentional ways to stay connected is surprisingly simple:
Be deeply, genuinely interested in what your kids care about.

Not superficially.
Not with polite nods.
Actually learn their world.

If your child loves music, learn about their instrument. If they’re into photography, ask them about their shots. If they’re passionate about sports—yes—watch a few YouTube breakdowns so you can speak their language.

Amy started watching defensive line videos so she could understand what our son Elijah actually does on the football field. (To her, it looked like a “big pile of mess.” To Jonny, a fascinating choreography of technique and strategy.)

One of our teens is obsessed with movie scores. We didn’t just smile and say, “That’s nice.” We went to a Hans Zimmer concert with him—and ended up becoming fans ourselves!

Interest builds connection.
Connection builds trust.
Trust keeps doors open when big decisions arrive.

2. Walk With Them Through Transitions

There’s a cultural message out there that says, “Back off. Let your kids figure it out. Don’t interfere.”

We disagree.

Being present in your child’s transition seasons isn’t controlling—it’s parenting.
They’ve never done this before. We have.

Choosing colleges. Handling finances. Considering marriage. Making career decisions. These aren’t small things. In fact, between 18–23, kids make more life-altering decisions than any other season.

You don’t need to bulldoze or micromanage. But you do need to be present, available, listening, and willing to speak wisdom.

When they call to “off-stress,” answer.
When they want to think out loud, be the safest place for it.
When they’re overwhelmed, walk with them—not ahead of them, and not behind them—but with them.

3. Build a Family Culture of Fun

If you want relational access to your kids when they’re adults, start by having fun with them when they’re young.

No lecture can replace years of:
• board games
• shared movies
• inside jokes
• adventures
• family traditions
• silly moments
• everyday laughter

Fun shouldn’t live on vacations.
Fun should live in your living room.

If you’ve built that foundation over the years, being part of their big decisions later is natural—not forced.

Fun creates connection.
Connection creates influence.
Influence creates trust.

And trust is what keeps launched kids coming home—not out of obligation, but because home is still a place of joy.

4. Help Your Kids See That Hard ≠ Bad

Our culture equates difficulty with danger. But in the Kingdom, hard things are often holy things.

Transitions are uncomfortable.
New seasons stretch us.
Launch years feel like deep waters.

But none of that makes them bad.

We want to raise kids who aren’t afraid of discomfort—who step boldly into new places knowing that God meets them there.

They don’t need a comfortable life. They need a Comforter.

We remind our kids often:
God didn’t promise comfort. That’s why He gave the Comforter.

Teaching kids to embrace challenge prepares them to face adulthood with courage instead of fear.

5. Keep Your Home a Safe Place—No Matter Their Age

One of the greatest gifts we can give our kids—whether they’re 12 or 22—is the assurance that they’re never alone.

When our older kids have made big moves or big decisions, we’ve told them:

"We’re with you in this—spiritually, emotionally, financially. Whatever you need. That’s what family does."

You don’t remove every obstacle.
You don’t fix every problem.

But you are a soft landing place for their hearts.

6. Speak Life Into Their Growing Confidence

Young adults may look confident, but they’re often deeply unsure.

They’re making enormous decisions with very little life experience. They’re developing their “track record” with the Lord—seeing how He shows up, how He guides, how He redeems mistakes.

Your encouragement matters more now than ever.

Tell them when they’re making good decisions.
Affirm their character.
Celebrate their growth.
Notice their strengths.

Sometimes “You’re doing great” settles things in their spirit nothing else can.

Even if they do things differently than you would?
Encourage them anyway.

They’ll figure it out. And they’ll do it knowing you're cheering them on, not critiquing from the sidelines.

7. Embrace the Glory-to-Glory Journey

When our first two kids launched, Amy struggled. She felt the ache of the nest shifting. But the Lord gently realigned her heart:

“Amy, I move you from glory to glory.
You loved the last season—but you will also love the next.”

That revelation changed everything.

The seasons ahead—adult children, marriages, grandbabies—have brought as much (and sometimes more) joy than the years when everyone was under one roof.

Parents, launching isn’t losing.
It’s transitioning from one glory to another.

A Prayer for Your Family

Father, thank You for transitions—big and small.
Thank You that You lead us from glory to glory.
We bless every parent walking through the launching years.
Give them wisdom, patience, joy, and deep connection with their children.
Bless the young adults making big decisions.
Let them hear Your voice clearly and walk boldly into Your plans.
Surround every family with Your peace, Your presence, and Your guidance.
In Jesus’ name, amen.